One rollercoaster week (1) I don’t think I can give this week justice in one blog, even a super long one. That’ll teach me for not blogging on it sooner right? Then again, I am an introvert, which apparently means I sum up at the end when all the evidence is on the table, rather than “creating” the argument and/or solution as a dynamic process. I don’t think it’d make any sense to me let alone to any of you if I wasn't looking back as a whole.
Tuesday was a stark reminder that medicine was primarily about people being sick. (Incidently, Gus you once asked me how a blog would work with medicine- here’s an attempt). I met this patient, she was really nice and we got on really well. After the doctor examined her, he gave her some bad news, basically the worse the patient was expecting. She started crying. It was really hard, because I actually liked this woman as a person, and we’d had a good conversation about what was going on (without discussing actual diagnoses, cause I'm not really good enough at medicine yet). I felt horrible afterwards, for the patient, for the doctor, and for myself- I think part of it was about how the interview had gone, and what mistakes I’d made, but mainly because there wasn’t a lot to do for this patient, and they just had to live with this problem (non-fatal by the way). Just what this diagnosis meant to this woman was quite astounding and beyond what words could describe. I felt so ratty afterwards, I had to go for a run to clear my head and burn up some energy. After praying about it, I realized that this was probably the first time I had seen someone get some really bad news, and that it won’t be the last. And that the reality of medicine was that people did get sick because of the brokenness in the world, and that I have a very small power to make a difference. If I ever needed a reminder why to study, that was a good one.
After surviving Tuesday, I got another curve ball on Wednesday. We have these “evidence-based medicine” tutes, which we discuss papers and look at stats and validity of results etc. Basically a big yawn session, but something that you can see a myriad of uses for if you look hard enough. Well this paper comes out on prayer healing. Admittedly it wasn’t a great paper, and made some audacious (I have always wanted to use that word!) claims about what it did, but the tute very quickly became a God bagging contest. I tried to stand up for prayer, and re-divert attention to the paper, even challenging what the tutor said. But it seemed like it fell on deaf ears. To make matters worse, I stuffed up that weeks assignment, and it just all seemed very pear-shaped and very custard-like at the same time. I think my prayer time with God that night consisted of, “I know that you promised persecution, but could I not go through that for a while?” and “Much chance of a good day tomorrow?”
Thursday was sedentary in comparison to the other two days. Tutes all day. It was so long, and I felt really wasted afterwards. I also finished of “project get Hurricanes tickets” which took me a week to organise, and much running around trying to communicate with anyone. I think the stress was a bit too much… So I went to the church prayer meeting after the med smoko. Lots of people for a change- last week it ended up with Pastor Michael and myself! Ended up talking with this guy Ken afterwards. He’s an “Asian brother from another mother (and father)" and does architecture. It was good talking to him about being a Christian in a professional class, and what that meant to him. He’s so real, and down to earth. So we had tea together, and just hung. You know how sometimes that is the biggest blessing there is. That was one of those times.
Friday- well I learnt lots in the eye clinic, and probably not as much in the Ear, nose and throat clinic. To be perfectly honest with you, I was more looking forward to the rugby that night. Brent came over, and we went with Colleen and her friend Maria. It worked out well, as Brent and Colleen were supporting the Highlanders and Maria and I were supporting the Hurricanes. So there was lots of friendly jibing, some overly optimistic wagering, and good fun had by all. Afterwards Brent and I went to town, which was enjoyable. Now, I’m not really a “going out” type of person, but it was cool to go to a bar for a change, and just catch up with a good mate.
Early Saturday morning, (well 9 ish) my parents and little brother needed me to drop them off at the airport. They’re off to Singapore for a week, but I can’t go because of school, and Andrew thought it would be too tight to get from Dunners to go. So the three of them left, and I now have two cars- well for a week. So with my family completely out of Upper Hutt, the most logical place to go was… Home, right? Well there was some method to my madness. On Friday, I thought I’d broken a filling while eating Molenberg bread. Unfortunately, you can never tell whether it’s a filling or a grain that you just cracked, and I couldn’t find it in the half digest morsel in my mouth to check. So I went and saw my dentist in Upper Hutt. Which worked in well with Brent, who’s folks were up, and so there was a rendezvous in UH of the King family as well. Finally, I had organised to talk to my neighbour who has spent the past 12 years living with a stroke. Now even though I’d known them all my life, it was the first time we had ever really sat down and chatted. I also got to examine him for stroke signs, and learnt a lot about communicating with people with speech difficulty. It’s funny how all the theory they teach you in school only becomes real when the patient does it.
Went and played pool with Tom, another friend from church on Saturday night, it wasn’t great quality, only 2.5 games in an hour. Nasty stuff trying to chase balls around the table all night. Went back to his place and played Daytona for abit, but I felt real tired and left for home. But something agitated me while I was driving back. I had this real urge to go pray at the beach. Now I’ve been bitten by these urges before, and so was a little cynical though. But I went, and I’m glad I did. It was such an amazing prayer time. I just walked along the beach, and wrestled with God for a bit, challenging Him to hold true to His promises, telling Him how upset and angry I was at heaps of stuff, and also how much I needed Him. How frustrated I was, yet how grateful I was at the same time. It was also a time of worship. I know this probably makes no sense, but you know when something just clicks, then amongst the confusion, was peace. I had one of those moments. I saw this cloud formation like a flat plain rolling across the sky, and I could feel God on that cloud, riding it on His throne, similar to what Isaiah saw. It was awesome. I often “see” God on his throne, but tonight it was like a view in widescreen, just getting a picture with a new sense of majesty, of awesomeness. It’s something that I can’t really describe beyond that, except that it will profoundly change my life. I’m just not sure how yet.
