This could almost be a weekly update

But, I don't feel it should be. I guess I've been trying to stay afloat, then record it when I can. So what's up.

I'm slack.

I've done nothing over the past two days, and am trying to have a basic intorduction done by Friday, or Next Monday at the latest. I've still got a bit to write, it just keeps on going. Up to about 15 pages at the moment. Doing all the writing, really discourages me from doing any more in blog form- how do the art students among us do it?

Saw the Passion on Thursday. I think a lot of what's been said elsewhere has been what I've felt. But I guess, what effects me most is the fact that the "Passion of (the) Christ" is me, yourself and everybody else in this world, that he would go through all that is really mind-blowing, and so humbling. (If I could press a key for emotions they would be there.) I wasn't sure what I felt in the violent sections- I remember reading an article on coping strategies last year, about how people could watch violence if it was rationalised. I guess that's how I felt, with the magic of hindsight on my side. It still hurt to watch another human being, especially one that I try to meet with on a daily basis, go through it but it didn't make me want to sob uncontrollably like if it happened to someone for no obvious reason. (ie Columbine, Some of the stuff on Iraq, Ethiopia, Rwanda etc.) I guess that's how many people who don't know Jesus would feel. I was also incredibly amazed at the last scene of the resseurection, which made me realise/remember(you know how it is) that my God not only died for me, but also rose again for me, and that he is still alive today. : )

In saying that, God got our flat a TV. Now this isn't exactkly a cry of grerat prayer or anything, but I have missed having a TV, having someone tell you the news while you passively diffuse the information and then judge it. So after a quick prayer I went looking for a cheap one. Well I was, but I bumped into my cousin Nic, who upon hearing of my search, gave me that "God-is-so-in-this" kind of smile. She's been looking to sell her TV for her Dad (my uncle), so that worked out well, with a very good quality TV from the family. Excellent.

I've overcomitted myself to demonstrating anatomy this year. This worries me, cause I thought I could handle it, but I definitely can't. Now I have to go and sort a whole lot of stuff out, and I'm not entirely sure if I can do it, or eat the humble pie associated with it. What's worse is the fact of letting a whole lot of people who I really respect down.

Better go grab Sam.

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I don't know why
Hey, check the time on this puppy- 5:06AM MONDAY MORNING. Why am I up?- I'm doing some write-up for my thesis intorduction. It's so satisfying to get something done, and it is pleasantly quiet- I hope J and Gus aren't being woken by the tapping of the keys though. So why am I typing at 5am in the morning- apart from the fact it is really nice?

Let's start at Thursday- After a rather bad day, it became an even worse night with RoTK. The movie wasn't bad, but the trip to and from was particularly nasty. we drove (illeagally!) with 6 passengers, cos it was raining, and couldn't really find a park, partly due to the busyness of town, and partly due to driver incompetence. We found a park just outside the theater (as requested), and just made the movie on time. 3 1/2 hours later (bout midnightish), we emerge, adn try to go home... but the car doesn't start. CLUNK, my head goes on the steering wheel as I realise I've left the lights on. We get out, it is a very cold southerly blowing. Sam used all his charm to persuade some girls to let us borrow their car to jump start ours after 10 minutes or so standing there. You have no idea how badly I wanted to curse during that 10 mins. Unfortunately, between the 8 of us, we couldn't get it to work. Too much advice perhaps? So they drove off, kindly refusing our offer of a couch to sleep on- they were keen on the beach ?!! So onto plan B- the push start down the hill to the Octagon- surely this wwould prevail. But alas, it was no good. Except it did draw the attention of some passers by, who with all their knowledge of old cars had us going in about 5 minutes. Meanwhile, Abbey and Thida had gone and stopped a cop car, but they drove off, after the arrival of our mysterious saviours. After dropping the girls off, the boys (Sam, Dave, Andrew(my brother) and myself) went for a tiki tour to recharge the battery. We went to Aquinas, Signal hill and Shell Anderson's bay. Also got a txt from Thida apologising about their stressed out behaviour.

What did I learn from this experience? 1) don't leave your light's on 2) the importance of doing things properly, by the book(highly applicable to other areas of my life) 3) lights are also good on during driving 4) We all have a lot to learn about dealing with unfamiliar situations 5) I reckon I have a great bunch of friends, who on the whole were very supportive about my stuff ups, and they could have reacted a lot worse. I felt bad that I'd let them down, and I thought that even though they weren't totally easy to deal with, they were still good enough about it to laugh (at) with me on the other side, so big ups to you guys for all the support you did give me. (6) God has a nasty sense of humour at times : )

Saturday was counsellor training for IWT, which was cool, and I was going to write after that, but I cleaned my room instead (which was probably the more quadrant 4 job at the time), and then went out to a massive tea with Gus' family. Oh it was great. Well, I was feeling pretty full after that, and clearing the kitchen and playing Risk until 1 am was far cooler really.

Sunday was Sunday, and I choose to keep the Sabbath as far as "work" goes when I can choose. It served me well the past couple of years, and I it's nice to have time to spend with people and God. Gwynny's sermon on 1Cor13 - If I do nothing without love then it is worthless, really spoke to me, and God revealled some specifc instances over the past week, when I had been rather performance orientated, and asked me to get them sorted. It's a funny thing, you know, I was talking to my friend Josh about it last night. If I do good works, even God works without love, then it counts for nothing. That really blows my mind, and is what was said at the prayer meeting the other night at Dan's. I must learn more (in love of course).

God restarted the night service about 90% through again last night. (see last week) Mike just got up and started talking about the anointing, giving the analogy of something being absorbed by the body and being reflected. That the anointing comes from being in the presence of God . Also got a demon exorscision story out of it, and Jared got attacked with Pastor Mike's snot-ridden hankie. Some how worship seemed.... different afterwards- you know what I mean?

So that's me until now-I've been writing since 3:30, and have 2 pages and a blog- not bad for a moirning's work. Can someone please pick me out of my tea though? : )

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It's been one week...

Since I even considered looking at my blog. Ah, meh, I've been busy. To sum up the mood I'm in, I guess I'll share something that I wrote today:

"Why I will never complain about this hill- from the seat at the top of Pitt Street"

"I will never complain about this hill- how steep it is, how hard it can be to climb, how sweetly it woos you into a nice downhill run, only to stab you on the way back up. It ain't that bad. Why? Because there are far greater hills and peaks in the other areas of my life- the spiritual, the mental and the social. Those peaks are harder, more gruelling, and more demanding. I reckon my physical body enjoys the challenge.

I remember when this hill was though- the first time I saw it I nearly fainted- I probably was gasping for breath at the end. Now- it's just a hill, trodden many times. Many others balk at the hill, say-why do live up there? It's so far. My mate Ed lives at the very top of this hill, and hates every time he walks up it. But I won't complain. I know that there are greater peaks to throw myself against. I may never make the top of those hills. But somehow I know I will.

Thanks God"


Ok- so where am I?

Church on Sunday was cool. I liked it and it was cool to see heaps of people again. The night service was ...interesting. The worship was well, stale- then it got very, very hot. It was fantastic. I have know idea what God was doing, I can only report- it felt fantastic. Helen got up and said "if you are excited about this year and what God's going to do, come out to the front."
So I did. That was a moment that I don't think I'll forget in a hurry. I got an asnswer to a few prayers on direction, and just a real impression of hope. I guess the best way to describe it was someone telling me that everything was going to be alright, and giving me a big hug. - incidently also a request. I really should start asking for that in the physical too... hmm?
Well, there was that and Pastor mike doing the "head only" chicken dance. Y'know where the lips are kihnda puckered and the head's moving back and forth- like Mick Jagger.

Work is work. Its really hard, and I'm not sure I'm having that much success, but it's early days yet, and I have grown quiet a lot. It is really weird about how this is turning out. I've noticed a real anti-religion stancewithin the department. Don't get me wrong, they're really nice people eh, with a good touch of cynicism to boot. Nice. But they do seem to be real anti anything that's outside their understanding- it's really weird.

Flat/Hotel Royale. We have had sooo many people stay. Dave O, Alice, Jess, Andrew: and Jeremy isn't even back yet!!!But it has been cool to see heaps of people. So many visitors as well, Dave L, Katie (multiple times), the upstairs girls, Abbey, Thida, Scott, Nick, arggggh!!!!

Please forgive me for not commenting on the real detailed blogs that everybody else seems to write- I 've spent all day at thescreen, and I really don't need/can't physically handle any more.

Take care though.

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Just a quick addition

Something fantastic God told Rach at afore mentioned meeting- 52 days until IWT- same as it took Nehmiah to build the walls. Man I have goose bumps already.

Alice comes back today.

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This chook is headless

Well, I shouldn't really get myself so worked up so early in the year, but I guess I can't help it. So much has happened.

My ear is still blocked, so I went to the doctor- my eardrum is about 1/3 full of fluid (should be empty) from my cold. I wish I could see it. Guss and Andrea had a go at looking with a torch, but to no avail- sometimes you just need an otolaryngoscope. (Ok, so Im a med nerd, but it really was exciting). More on that later.

My thesis is taking shape. Paul's starting to go on at me a bit about writing, so I'm starting to bite the bullet about actually doing the writing. It's not exactly pleasant, but hey, it's starting to look cool- I have heaps to write about- arrgggh how am I going to get it done!? Don't tell me- prayer, prayer, prayer and then head down. See I am starting to learn something : ).

Just finished reading a book called "how to be good" by Nick Hornby. It was a well written book, but it really made me mad. It's about this doctor called Katie, who's unhappily married to Paul, "the angriest man in Holloway". It explores their marriage after an affair, and Paul's resulting "spiritual revelation" from DJ Goodnews, an ex-drug addict, who found he can heal people by touching them. Paul's revelation causes a complete change in character and he goes from ranting about old people on buses, to taking in the homeless and giving away stuff. Anyway, Katie seems to fel completely unhappy in this situation, and her "selfish" sound comes through. OK, so I agreed somewhat with Katie, but in the end Katie's wishj comes true, and Paul is reduced to a middle-class idealist (again). What really got me, was the whole hopelessness of the book, anbd how even if people do have these great passions to do great stuff, so much of it is unfruitful, then we should all sit where we are secure anyway, because there's only one way which our "good" intentions can go.

This lead onto the the prayer meeting. I didn't no it at the time, but God has really been stirring my heart over this. I do have very strong views on helping the poor. most of them I don'tfollow through., I don't know any "poor" people- most of my friends are middle-class, and enjoy middle-class things. It's probably the biggest disease in the world. Anyway it was a very cool prayer meeting, and I do really want to have it sealed. But you know how words can so little give justice to what went on? Sorry dear reader, but I can't really explain.

Actually I can give this. Andrea got 1Cor 13: Love is faithful, love is kind...etc. Paul writes

"8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. "

and God said this to me: Remember when you were a child, and you wanted to be able to fly, have X Ray vision, be super cool, etc. As a teen, you wanted to be good at sport, get the girls, pass without studying etc (not necessarily dreams given up on either), now as a young man you want ot be able to prophecy over people, disciple armies, preach to millions, save the world kinda deal? Do you see the poor reflection in the mirror? When it all comes down to it, faith hope and love are the only things that will remain. How cool would Super faith, Super hope and Super love be?

I guess Jesus didn't come to change the world by shooting up with amazing sermons, or fantastic healings. They almost serve as a antithesis of what he did. It proved that when he said "I could call down a legion of angels" he wasn't joking. but he still chose to hang on the cross for us. That he still got the biggest kick when people like the centurion and the samaritan woman chose to believe in him, or the prostitute who anointed him wiht love. That people who saw him had hope that God was still there, and that he would be with them once more.

So we prayed for love, hope and faith to be in everything we do. And I want to be active about it, and not just have that as a prayer that stays as a prayer, and is shelved away as a niceity, and something to reminisce(?) over. This year is going to rock.

Praise and glory to the Father,

Bing

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Swimming in muck- Hey baths are fun!

Ok, so that makes no sense what soever, but I'm pretty knackered. I have a cold, and my right eustacian tube seems to be blocked with pus. In lay terms, my right ear's blocked due to a very snotty nose. In fact, having this cold has been kinda cool- getting to remember all my head and face anantomy. Sinuses, glands, ears etc. And practical advice like not sleeping on your side when your sinuses are blocked cos it all drains and you get one very blocked sinus headache. Who'd be a med student eh?

Did work on a Sunday for the first time in AGES yesterday, even passed up group lunch at Rach's place : (. This was due to my meaning to do some work over the long weekend, but um, failing abjectly. So I went and wrote a couple of pages of fairly useless information on germinal centres and had a sleep. Oh, so exciting.

Spent the day reading and writing. Also had an errands lunch time. Uni stuff, and a card for my Grandad who's 79. He doesn't even know this exists, but happy birthday Gon gon, the cards in the mail.

Also went to an open lecture after "work" about "Religion in China today" bythe Emeritus Professor at University of British Columbia. It was very interesting to hear about his work in China, and his view that the local religions in China are far out numbering the organised religions,ie the local deities and demons, and also the common theme they had of administering social values. Also said that Undergound christianity was far outgrowing the State sanctioned church (Which in its own right is still bursting at the seams) because it meets the needs of the people, and the adaptations it has to meeting the needs of the locals, just like the local deities.

Kristy and Steph came arounnd to start picking up their stuff today. They have about 50 boxes between them. It is a lot of stuff. It really is amazing. However, it is very cool to see them again (and again, and again, and again-Steph's Corolla ain't that big, even with trailer ; ) )

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Learning Hyperbole

I guess that's what I'm in at the moment- easy to hit the bottom, hard to get out of, but once you do you soar upwards. Started work in the lab this week, I am starting to see why God got me the job in the Purchasing department in the summer, I'm very glad for the experience I had there. It feels quiet similar, with a lot of the stuff that you do, not automatically bringing results (unlike for example studying for a computer test, writing notes from a lecture, or getting results from an experiment. I have spent most of the week reading journal articles, trying to interpret what their saying. I could tell you more about Follicular Dendritic cells (what I've been studying) than you would want to know, but I don't think you want to, so I won't. Just know that it is hard work, and I'm doing about eight hours a day (like a real job), so this going to be a challenge.

One of the more frustrating aspects is not really knowing what to do. I mean I have spent a lot of time learning stuff, but I don't feel it is enough. I guess it will take awhile to adjust to. (Knowing that doesn't make it any easier.) What does make it easier is the goals I have this year (apart form submitting my Thesis of course!) Paul (my supervisor) suggested I should try aim to publish a paper by the end of the year. The projects capable of it, and it's really up to me. This is like whoaaa. People who publish articles are like smart and stuff right? Not to mention scientifically articulate. I'm not sure of either in myself. (Not that I'm smart but smart enough would be better perhaps?) One of the things I've always liked myself on was being able to take something quiet complex and generally try to explain it to Joe Bloggs in a way they can understand (very handy as a doctor/med student). Now I have to write the bleeding complex stuff!

On the plus side though (just to prove that my life doesn't suck), I'm interacting with intellectuals on a very regular basis, and been priviledged to some very complex discussions about genes and (by far the more enjoyable) university politics (not restricted to Otago). It is also cool to meet some of my lectures from the past couple of years in person. Everybody is quiet nice, and very knowledgable. I do still miss the student-student interaction though. There's no student commraderie in the departkent per se because there's nothing really to bind us together, cos we're all at different stages. In saying that I've only been there a week, and I only know people kinda superficially at the moment. I also took a look at previous thesis' and they don't look too bad.

One thing that Paul mentioned was that you have to get used to the paradigm shift from Me(student) to Us (lab team). Now this really got me thinking. Hhow selfish are we as students? I mean we have basically no responsibilities, except to our flat, and OUR studies. Anything else we basically choose to do because we choose to. We are allowed to walk away from stuff because only our relationships with the other people at at stake. (quiet big, I know, but that's basically it) I can choose to quit when I want, without any formal commitment to stay due to legal contracts or anything else.

I don't think I like that.

I think I would rather be encouraged to stay somewhere and grow in the situation (to a point). I guess it's all about choices and being able to make them for yourself. I also accept that the only place where you would be "encouraged" would be at school. So yeah, welcome to the real world me.

Waitangi day was fairly unproductive, went to see Abbey, but she wasn't there. (Ok, so I didn't look very hard) Spent the night playing Risk with Gus, Justin and Rach. Very enjoyable. We also got Sam's video recorder back. To set it up, we used a taper we found lying around. It had Dumbo on it. So an hour later (a very short feature film!!!) at 2am I went to bed after watching the whole thing. Big ups to whoever owns the tape, and thanks. I can now see why Sarah (my 3 year old cousin, not any friends of the same name) likes to watch it.

Dave in the last blog was Dave O'Byrne, not Dave Lim (who hasn't killed Gus). It has been cool having Dave here. Some pretty cool talks and some cool guitar playing. Even did some together (He was good, I wasn't- but it's all good). Also been nice to have somebody else in the flat. You can get sick of one other person pretty quickly (not that I'm that sick of Gus yet ;).

Have a great week

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I'm sure I wrote something yesterday...

Ah, well not to worry. Nothing important, except church goss: Jesse and Cat have had a little girl -Carmel Emma; PJ and Jelter are leaving for the Coromandel at the end of March- They already have a waterfront house and Jelter has a job interview tomorrow; Elim still rocks; I met some cool Global Youthers yesterday- Josh and Peter- Joel's doing a prayer website which sounds really cool, plus updating the Elim site.

Dave is settled in- paid his "rent" today at Countdown- we shan't be going hungry for a while. He's got this really cool tradition of giving a can everytime he goes shopping. Katie got back today too- Gee, it was cool to see her. She still gives the meanest hugs.

Had a real awesome time at church last night. Ending up sitting with Kerry (one of the "oldies") who I met one time, and Becks (Keyboard chick). Also got a real weird vision. I saw myself standing in armour while worshipping, which isn't that rare, but God showed me something new- He showed my this picture of people (me included) building with stones in armour. When I asked him what He meant He told me Nehemiah. Not being a great Bible scholar, I went home and looked it up that night
4:17 Those who carried materials did their work with one hand with one hand and held a weapon in the other, and each of the builders wore his sword at his side as he worked.
It does make sense with what I've been getting while I've praying, but was kinda interesting in the way it was spelt out.

Our primary job is to build God's kingdom, but we've also got to be armed against what else is out there. I get the feeling I'm (we're?) going to learn a little more about that this year. (In a very short synopsis, without going into specifics)

I am shattered from today's work. It was first day in the lab, and it was hard! Spent the morning on info overload learning people's names, where stuff was, lab culture etc. Spent the afternoon doing a literature search- 4 hours work for 5 articles. Owwwh, that was actually a hard days work. Which is good for me, butI'm really tired now. And it feels really weird not being part of a class anymore- I realised how much I missed my classmates already, and it's only been half a day.- Arggh, Demon printer gone made, better go.

Bing

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